Postal Dis-Service

Oct. 16, 2015

Dear Hildie:

Well, I sent a certified letter to a client. But what a chore: I went to the Audubon Post Office on Government, stood in line, and then was told they couldn’t send certified mail because they’d run out of forms! That carries incompetence to a new level. I sent a complaint to the USPS but from past experience that’ll have all the effect of a chant for rain. These people are hopeless. Once I was standing outside when, a quarter hour after the place was supposed to be open, they opened it and a cheery postal worker said, “You won’t mind if we open now, will you?” I said: “I wouldn’t have minded if you’d opened up when you were supposed to.” Once, at the Bennington Branch, they lost a certified letter from the Federal Government. Of course, the clerk said (shades of Yogi Berra), “It isn’t lost. We just can’t find it.”

Here’s another installment. Since CRIMES OF ARTEMUS KEEL is picaresque, I guess sending it in installments is appropriate.

 

Take care.

Love,

M

Odd dream

October 15, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

What a strange dream. I was down on Chimes Street in a bar, doing some beer drinking, and I felt I shouldn’t drive home, so I waited a few minutes (!) until I felt more sober, then had another beer (!). There were a priest and a nun in the bar trying to help (?) people. There was also a cop, maybe a guard. I went down the stairs (It was upstairs) to the ground level to drive off, but didn’t want a DWI, so I asked the cop if he’d give me a breathalyzer test first but he said he couldn’t work his machine. So I walked across the street, to where I was parked near the Varsity Theater, and tried to remember if I had the right car key. I remembered I’d given one of the two keys to someone else but I still had one and got into the car and edged away from the curb but it started raining. Then the rain became an ice storm and as I went down State Street toward Dalrymple. I wondered if I could make it going very slowly, because the brakes didn’t seem to be working very well. I don’t remember anything else.

 

Now you’re talking about Trump vs. Hillary? But you’re the one who predicted Christie would be the GOP candidate in no uncertain terms.

 

Well, we got a little job out in Lake Charles for next week and a little office research job. Better than a sharp stick in the eye, as an old friend used to say.

 

Take care.

Love,

M

 

 

 

Coons and possums

Oct. 14, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

I had a bad Halloween dream last night—That I was down the street from our house, at some other house (the office?), and there was music or noise or something loud enough so I couldn’t hear if there were any trick or treaters outside, and then I remembered we hadn’t set up the yard for Halloween at the house, though we’d pulled out the stuff to set up. It was eight o’clock, too late, but I was going to try to get back anyway, but it turned out not to be a block away but miles, and I was climbing over fallen tree trunks and all kinds of things, trying to get home. Somewhere in there I woke up.

 

I hate to see dead raccoons and possums—I’m afraid they’ll become extinct (!).

 

I sent you the ms.  by installments just because I didn’t know you’d want to read it. We’re nearing the end now, though. But I have plenty of Mss. to keep you reading for the rest of your life!

 

Love,

M

 

 

Politics–Ugh!

Oct. 13, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

Boy, I’m tired and sleepy. It’s because I’ve stepped up my exercise and lowered my calories. I feel like a food processor for celery.

 

God, can’t poor Hillary get anything straight? Do the Clintons do EVERYTHING according to the latest poll results? And the Republicans—They are so confused they don’t know which is the front end of the horse. Which probably accounts for why so many of them are the back end. I get so tired of these posturing politicians braying “The American people want…” Really?

 

Your Syrian friend may be right about Syria. Who does anybody propose to put in Assad’s place? The Prophet, may peace be upon him?

 

I think Biden would love to be president—He just doesn’t want to have to go through the process of running for it (and I don’t blame him).

 

I‘d love to ask the Lt. Gov. candidates: “What would you do for the Division of Archaeology?”  I’ll bet not a one of them knows that there’s such a unit in the Lt. Gov’s portfolio. Several would probably reply that they were all for investigating dinosaurs.

 

Take care.

Love,

M

 

 

T. Harry Williams and Huey Long

Oct. 12, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

Happy Columbus Day.

 

I can’t see what concealed carry at schools will accomplish except a bunch of Old West shootouts where the only casualties are the bystanders. As a gun owner, I can say that from what I can tell guns tend to cause more problems than they solve.

 

I’m re-reading T. Harry Williams’ LINCOLN AND HIS GENERALS, which I read when I was a teenager. The man could write wonderfully. It’s just such a letdown that he allowed the Long family to coopt him with his Huey Long book. It was so horribly biased in favor of Huey and such a disservice to history. It was as if he was afraid to say anything bad about the man—about whom there was much bad to say.

 

Well, now to write some checks. Take care.

 

Love.

M

Oct. 9, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

At noon yesterday  I was watching Wolf Blitzer of CNN interview poor Ben Carson. I never saw such chicken-shit as Blitzer’s questions. “Ruppert Murdoch says Obama isn’t a ‘real black president.’ Do you think he’s a ‘real black president.’” Of all the silliness! Poor Carson kept saying it was all semantics, but Blitzer kept trying to trip him up into something that would be sensational. And then, after Carson had answered a question about the Oregon school shootings, CNN ran a banner at the bottom of the screen that completely misconstrued what he’d just said. I don’t think much of many of Carson’s positions, but this kind of “Gotcha” news-mongering is shameful.

 

He should’ve asked Carson if he was a ‘real politician.’  Frankly, I’m about at the stage where I think after serving one term, all politicians should be euthanized. They get two feet in the trough and the bastards just can’t seem to get out. Where there are term limits, they just run for some other office. They have no notion of holding real jobs—or, if they do, they don’t like the idea. They’re a bunch of inflated, narcissistic egos who like to order people around.

 

Your letter about your ex- was so bittersweet—I know it has to have summoned up all kinds of competing emotions in you. You wouldn’t be human otherwise. Life is so short and love is so cruel—You can quote me on that. And we were all so young. I like to think I’m wiser now, but I doubt it seriously.

 

Take care.

Love,

M

 

 

bidding

Dear Hildie:

I just heard from a client I haven’t talked to in donkey’s years. He has a project in Texas but I doubt I can bid successfully on it (though I’ll try), since there are firms there that can  bid more economically than I can. Oh, well.

Well, more reading and correcting today on the ms. Ughh.

Love,

M

 

 

Wrong Way and Ex

Oct. 7, 2015

Dear Hildie:

I’ve just forced myself to start reviewing the novel I wrote that my daughter didn’t like. It’s a psychological shock—really agonizing–to force oneself into the mindset (or into the alternate reality, really) of working on a novel—It’s like standing on a diving board and knowing the water down there is cold, and hitting it will be a shock, but that once in, you’ll adapt. But you hate the idea of the shock.

It was interesting—and bittersweet–hearing about your visit with your ex. Yes, there’s so much sadness in life. I like to always think the glass is half full instead of half empty but I swear to God that gets harder and harder as time goes on.

Watch out for those wrong-way boulevards! I don’t want to have to visit you in the hospital!

 

LOVE,

M

 

 

Football noise and politicians

Oct. 6, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

I had a cup of coffee this morning and feel like I’ve taken an amphetamine. I hate that feeling. All I wanted was to be perked up a bit. Of course, it’ll wear off in time for my permanent molar cap to be put on at 3:30.

 

What a loud weekend—football on in the living room throughout two days! All I was doing most of the time was trying to read the second biography of Sherman I got—One published, I think, in 2013, that is much more nuanced and not nearly as hagiographic as Liddell Hart’s. Liddell Hart didn’t want to admit that Sherman was what today we’d call bi-polar—Hypomanic at times and despondent at others. Well, like he said of Grant, “He stood by me when I was crazy and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we’ll stand by each other forever.” How very lucky the country was to have had those two men at hand when it did!

 

I see Dardenne is promising that, as governor, he’ll have the State Police and sheriffs go after people who don’t pay child support. What rubbish! As if the State Police have the desire or the manpower to adopt such a mission, or sheriffs answered to the governor! That’s as stupid as John Young claiming that, as lieutenant governor, he’ll use his experience as a prosecutor to make tourists safe. How, pray tell? He would have no authority over any police forces, unless he plans to set up a new Tourism Police (!!!). Do these guys think we’re all idiots? Answer: Yes.

 

Take care of the ankles and eyes and…everything.

LOVE,

M

 

73 year old-virgins or 73 virgins?

Oct. 5, 2015

 

Dear Hildie:

 

Oh, yes, I know the German film you’re talking about. M is a classic. Lorre did some silents in the 1920s, I understand, and, as a Hungarian Jew, left Germany about when old Hilter (as Bill Haag called him) came to power.

I finally found my missing Chapter 38. Spent all morning scanning it and cleaning it up.

I hope the visit of your ex and sig other was a success (by the time you get this I assume they’ll have come and gone). I’ll bet his beard is gray now—Well, everybody else I know is turning gray! But, unlike the rest of us, I’ll bet he hasn’t gained weight.

Thanks for the kind words about the book CRIMES OF ARTEMUS KEEL. I’m sure there’s a lot that could be improved—seriously.

A 73 year-old virgin, huh? Are you volunteering—Oh, that’s right….Oh, well.

Oh, saw GREEN FOR DANGER the other night. It was delightful, though with some of those old movies the sound isn’t as crisp as one might wish and my ability to distinguish sounds has never been that great. But I loved it. Alistair Sim was wonderful. The very last sentence, where he submits his resignation (and hopes it won’t be accepted) sounded very familiar and I wondered if I’d seen the movie years before. Maybe. But I didn’t remember anything about it if I did.

 

Well, take care.

 

Love,

M